Funny Facebook Statuses Part 2

List of the best Funny Facebook Status Updates

The original page that I posted on funny facebook status updates got a lot of attention and has grown so much that I had to create a second page for it. So here you go. These Funny Facebook Statuses are even better than the first batch. Keep the facebook status updates coming, I enjoy reading them and posting them here if they make me laugh

1. is wondering who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ” I think I will squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
2. says I wouldn’t say I was special, I’m better than that! I’m the limited Edition!
3. Born Free……..Taxed to Death.
4. its called the American dream…..because you have to be asleep to believe it.
5. Thinks it’s time to find a beach lined with swaying palms and tropical cocktails served all night by hot young babes.
6. You know those days when you just wake up and look outside, then want to go out and kick Jack Frost in the snowballs?
7. Life gave you lemons – tried to make lemonade – cut my finger with a knife, got juice in the eye, sugar spilled and broke the pitcher – UUGGGHHH lemons!!

8. Is dreaming of warmth, sunshine, sandy beaches, flip flops and pina coladas

9. How does paper beat rock? Ill throw a rock at you and you protect yourself with a piece of paper, lets see who wins that!

10. had an awesome day ツ I hope you did too!
11. 
    Can’t face me? Turn around, Can’t stand me? Sit down, Think I’m Tripping? Tie my shoe, like me? Great, Hate me? Even better, think you know me? You have no idea
12. The mightiest of weapons is truth. And everyone knows you’re not permitted to enter a Government building with a weapon.
13. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
14. I have loved u since the day we met..hasn’t been my whole life..but once u entered my world u made me happy and kept me on my toes..i love u starbucks!!
15. India Foxtrot Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Alpha November Uniform November Delta Echo Romeo Sierra Tango Alpha November Delta Tango Hotel India Sierra, Charlie Oscar Papa Yankee Alpha November Delta Papa Alpha Sierra Tango Echo Tango Oscar Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Sierra Tango Alpha Tango Uniform Sierra
    (for those of you who dont understand this is written in “Military Phoenetic Alphabet” basically its all the code talk that army guys and gals do when they are communicating and it is when you take the first letter of each word to spell out a word, the “Military Phoenetic Alphabet” is also adapted by other groups and government agencies including the police. The purpose of this is to remove confusion from similar sounding letters like “D” and “P” and “Z”.)
    The above line says: “If you can understand this, copy and paste to your status”
16. My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower. I told him of course he could, as long as he didn’t take it out of my yard.
17. Life is like a doughnut. You’re either in the dough or in the hole.
18. A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
19. An egotist is someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
20. Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
21. Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
22. The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
23. Roses are red violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I.
24. What are the days of the vampire week? Moonday, Toothday, Veinday, Thirstday and Frightday
25. If the economy is slowing down, how come it’s so hard for me to keep up with it?
26. No wonder newborn babies cry. They’ve got nothing to eat, no clothes and they already owe the government money.
27. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
28. You should work eight hours, play eight hours and sleep eight hours. But not the same eight hours.
29. One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
30. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
31. I’m not myself today. Maybe I’m you.
32. Conference, n. The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
33. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
34. I have a lot of special people in my life… Too bad I don’t have a short bus to drive them around in
35. My biggest problem with the younger generation is I’m not in it.
36. My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her Ex. So I dumped her.
37. My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
38. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
39. Some open minds should be closed for repairs.
40. If you need space then work at NASA.
41. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
42. It’s okay to let your mind go blank; but please turn off the sound.
43. If at first you don’t succeed, buy her another beer.
44. Don’t tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
45. I don’t love salsa dancing. I love salsa just the way it is.
46. A dollar saved is a dime earned. The rest is taxes.
47. I can tell you’re a man with an open mind. In fact, I can feel the breeze from here.

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http://www.JamesStJohn.net/just-for-fun/2009/12/funny-facebook-status-pt2

Please add your own funny facebook status messages, I will re-post the all best ones in a follow-up post.

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